Our oldest horse (well, dad's) is dying. He offered to pick me up today. Was over at my parents. They are very elderly. This horse will be 32 this spring. Had it since it was born. A beautiful chestnut mare. I found her, dad had stuck her way back in the barn because he said something had spooked them all this morning and he couldn't get her in her pen. She has been swaying most of her life. So sad to see her so tired and sore, limping, slipping on her back feet. I know men are less sensitive, but dad didn't have her in her pen up front. I asked him why. He said because if she died he'd have a heck of a time getting her out. It bothered me. I could cry. He promised to keep her in her own pen up front. I just love animals. To see her in a dark corner today, swaying, knowing she is in pain. I am too. I don't know what I want in life anymore. I also don't want to see my parents getting so old and frail.