like my therapist said, the people I want are very very rare. The people I find myself attracted to are potential people I'd date, but not now. I want to stay away to see how long I can not date. I am not going to settle. I had my close calls and I had to turn it down a lot. My friend screwed me over with a lack of context when having almost sex with me with her intentions. I didn't know if she was still my friend or what. Like my therapist said, "No matter how hard I work at being a good friend. People just like to screw me over and I'm not handling it well, because it's happening a lot and so frequently. " I do have body dysmorhphic stuff going on as well with some ocd rituals on my appearance they go hand in hand with this.