I stayed in a verbally and physically abusive "marriage" for 31 years. It wasn't until I found the book that saved my life, that I was able to begin the journey (took 5 years) to leaving. The Verbally Abusive Relationship by Patricia Evans saved my life.

One thing to remember: Abuse is a CHOICE....always a choice. Abusers are excruciatingly insecure and will do and say anything to control you.

What he is doing is called "gaslighting" you can look up that term; it is called crazy making behavior designed to keep you confused; it is literally brainwashing.

Call a domestic violence hotline; they can give you resources. There are so many resources out there now. One thing that worked for me (I fought the x all those years, thinking/hoping that he would "get" what he was doing and stop it)

Finally I got it. He didn't care what I thought or said. So, I STOPPED any kind of conversation, other than necessary ones (you can decide what those are).

He isn't going to change (unless by some miracle he thought he was an abuser and wanted to stop), and it sounds as if you are taking small steps to freedom.

No one in this group would ever.......abuse you. Stay in touch. I am a moderator of an abused survivors' group if you ever want to talk: carleton@oakland.edu

He is dangerous ; one in 3 women will be physically assaulted in their lifetime and it begins with verbal abuse.

As for coping techniques; maybe keep a journal (hidden) ...stay away from him as much as posssible; contact the National Domestic Violence hotline: 800-799-7233 ; call a social worker at a hospital; keep your hope up....we will be here. There are many wonderful people here, willing to listen and help. Hugs and Love ,Nicole

P.S. Make sure and call the hotline when he isn't around; and if you read any material; make sure he doesn't know; that will make him very angry.