True, non-BPDs never fully understand. But that doesn't mean we don't care. I can only add a couple of things: your cousin cares. It would be easier for her to avoid this "truth telling" on both sides as I am sure it is painful for both of you. Secondly, you need to decide what is more important for you: have your point heard or have a caring relationship? If you want to have a caring relationship (and what I am about to say is true for everyone. I have just come to believe it is harder for BPDs because of the intensity of emotions) the best thing is to walk away when a conversation gets too tough, organize your thoughts and feelings and go back to it. My T has recommended to walk away from any situation that is a 6 or above on a scale from 1 (not emotional/ hurtful) to 10 (very hurtful) and it works (most of the time :-) ).

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