Hi rukspc, I'd say to give yourself as long as you need/want. Grieving a loss (and the end of a relationship is a loss) can take time, moving on from negative effects of a relationship can take time...........and the fact is that although it still sounds really tough for you at times, it sounds like you have been doing really well in the process of adjusting. And you really do sound like you have a good approach towards trying to let go and move on.
Your birthday..........well that can still be a "landmark" occasion. It sounds like the relationship was hurting you, and not a "healthy" one??? so maybe on your birthday you can look back on how far you've actually come..........you managed to cut something/someone off from your life who could have been really destructive for you (and I'm sure that really wasn't easy for you!!), and you have managed to start on the process of healing from the ending of the relationship (and maybe what was going on in it). So, you know this last year.........since your last birthday you have come so far
So, no going and putting pressure or too many expectations on yourself, hey??
That you're trying to focus on you, that you're on a "track of self-development", that you're looking towards happiness and fulfillment is a real big achievement in itself and good on you!!!!
And for the times that are harder, which might surface here and there (hopefully less and less as time goes on- particularly with your strength of character!!!) just make sure you reach out for support when you need it...........and you always have us to drop in on!!!
Alison