Just took the dogs for a walk... Freaking cold here with snow

Anyways, the only thing I can see that would of been a trigger is we ever so slightly touched down on trauma crap with T last Monday, it was the 'blame game'... t was trying to get to the bottom of I guess who I should be blaming (I get I put a lot of un warranted blame on myself, but I wasn't getting the right answer I guess, so I continued the talk with a close friend through email (my parents I guess is the answer maybe T was looking for- not protecting me). But seriously, if that little bit of trauma work sent me into this kind of tail spin then I want out!ni don't want to 'do the work' and feel my stupid feelings like Tmis always telling me. AND she only booked me to come back in three weeks because I am still dissociating in session and 'self medicating' isntead of feeling my feelings. Aug. It's so hard. I miss my blissful ignorance to all this. I want to go back to my faking days that looked like I had it all together. Now that I have to drop the act I am freaking falling apart.