To those reading this now, (I know it's an old thread), please remember that taking a step back does not mean cutting off. My SO used that line 8 years ago, and still has not stepped back up. 1-2 times a year is NOT enough to keep the bonds of a marriage lasting and over that time period taking a step back is no longer what has done. You will have made them celibate. As a survivor I get taking a step back, it is good and useful. Just be sure it is a step back and that the step forward comes. I have done my part, I have literally gone months without saying one thing about sex, but PLEASE remember we are human and we do have needs and desires. When you put things off for an extended period, you are doing more damage than good.