Quote:
Originally Posted by JoeS21
That's been me lately. Somehow I have difficulty doing things just for myself if no one's motivating me. On the other hand, I love doing things for other people because it's all about their reaction which makes me feel good. Without that reaction, any work just feels empty and meaningless even though it's not.
This is keeping me from doing well in school.
Advice is welcome.
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UGH! Totally feel you! Usually the only way I am able to do anything is if someone is RIGHT THERE watching me or if I'm having a manic episode(which happens once in a blue moon)...Lately I've been failing tests and there are PILES of laundry and trash and DISHES piling up in my house
roaches climb on me in my sleep
I just sort of felt like "what's the use? it's all going to pile up anyway. who cares if I fail school? not like I'll be a millionaire anytime in the future." I'd sit for hours just wishing for a hurricane to wash everything away or something disastrous.
BUT for some reason, I've feel really good about life today and it could possibly be because of the encouragement I'm getting from the users on PC
Also, I realized that a lot of the reason I didn't give a crap was because I didn't feel worthy of anything. And I feel worthy today because I'd like to be able to better serve people and be of some assistance. And if I don't help myself and find that strength...then I don't feel worthy and start self-loathing/destructing...make sense??!?! idunno. It's a scary path to go down...and I'm hoping my good mood lasts longer than a few hours today T_T
Things that help me:
~Good upbeat music OR calm new age music
~a clear space without distractions
~study group with people who are passionate about whatever you're studying
~chill friends/people that put me in a good AND PRODUCTIVE mood
~colorful fruits
~staying hydrated
~weed (but this depends on YOU! no suggesting it, just helps me sometimes)
~watching inspirational youtube videos (doesn't have to be youtube)
Another thing that's really helped is doing things FOR OTHER PEOPLE. without them necessarily knowing I'm doing things because or FOR them. like I really want to get my life together for my family but they're are mostly unsupportive of me and just tend to put me down...so I'm doing this for them "silently." like thinking..."I'm studying to past this test so that even though my family doesn't congratulate me on graduation day, I'll be proud of myself for not being a failure to them." or "I'm cleaning my house so they don't put me down as much." something along those lines...
hope that wasn't too confusing!!! and I really do hope you find that strength somewhere!!! PM me if you need someone to chat with n_n ~