No, can't won't deal with churches.

Look, I've been through this on half a dozen other threads. I'm not looking for people to fix my circumstances for me. My circumstances suck, and there's really no way around that at this point in time. I'm a smart and resourceful person, and if there were solutions that would work, I would've found them. When people try to fix my life, we just go around and around in circles because I have already made use of all the resources that are available to me, so I just end up feeling more isolated and hopeless because it just becomes this litany of suggestions and rejections. That just distances me from everyone, and that's the last thing I need.

What I really need is support, not fixing. I need people to relate to me as a person, not as a problem to be solved and then checked off the list. I have no connections in real life. I don't matter to anyone. No one is even around to notice I'm having a major PTSD meltdown, let alone care about that fact. I need to feel like people understand and care, but when people give me a long list of "have you tried this," I feel like I'm not even really a person. I wasn't a person to the people who hurt me, and now I'm not a person to the people I'm looking to for support, either. I know that's not the intention, but that's how it feels to me. It feels like no one wants to actually listened to what happened or how I feel about it, so they just throw solutions at me from a distance. So I don't know, maybe I really don't belong here. Maybe I don't belong anywhere. I feel like I shouldn't talk at all.