Coherent, that's the other thing. I am not tooting my own horn or anything however, I am very, very intelligent. Writing and speaking articulately is my strong suit... To the point to where, I was feeling suicidal and wanted to kill myself about two months ago. I went to the ward and they wouldn't take me because I didn't fit the stereotype. I looked good, I spoke alright, but, me talking to someone saying I want help I feel like killing myself, coming from a person who read the dictionary three times and took notes in first grade, probably didn't seem like the rest of the people inside their who were coming off of crack and alcohol binges.
I don't have a therapist. Do they have programs or insurance for therapy? I am broke I have so many other things going on, I have $1.12. My bank accounts are over drafted... So... How do I get a therapist?
ps) The ward didn't take me. I blacked out I don't even know what happened actually.
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Originally Posted by geis
Do you have a therapist? If you do, s/he may be able to help your family understand what you're going through and how to help you.
If not, can you try writing it down for them? What you said here was really clear and coherent, and I think it would make sense to them, too. It really comes across that you want to make things better and are doing your best, even though it doesn't always work perfectly.
Long term, it sounds like working on your triggers might help. Do you know what triggered you last night? Once you can identify the trigger and understand where it comes from, that often makes it a lot easier to slow down between when the trigger happens and when you react. It helps me to be able to say to myself, "Look, it's not as bad as I'm feeling. I'm reacting to this situation strongly because it reminds me of XYZ from my past, but that's not happening now. What's happening now is ABC, and I don't have to react to it the way I did in the past." It's not perfect, and I still sometimes react to a trigger before I can understand what's happening or stop it. But it does get easier the more you work on it.
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