Dear Husker,

The situation is not very simple and there are many aspects of what you have written. I will try to focus on the forgiveness part only... The thing is it is sometimes very hard to pray or even forgive yourself when you feel that you have done something wrong. The severity doesn't matter because for every person, it is different. For example, if I cheated someone even with a single dollar, I would not be able to forgive myself over that unless I have spoken to that person and sought their forgiveness or by repaying them. So this is the conscious which makes you the way you feel. If you are a kind of person for whom even the smallest of missteps feel like big mistakes, then I advise you to be careful, that's what I have learnt. It is very difficult for me to cope with my conscious and the torture I get if I feel I have done wrong to others. Sometimes makes you anti-social to avoid situations and people; but this is something that has to be done to earn peace within. So in order to be able to go easy on yourself, you would require more discipline and assertion in your affairs.

Be well!