Thanks Ray for starting this thread. I too lost my mother so I know the pain and the sorrow surrounding this special day. 26 years ago this past April 28. Just 6 days after my birthday. For the first 10 years I'd start to cycle into a depression early in April and it would take till Father's Day passed before I could find my way out again. Ten years of a horrible two month long depression that got worse every year. After two years of living through these times with me my partner suggested we perform a special ceremony from his culture.... a feast for the dead.

On the anniversary of my mother's birthday the next August we went to where I'd spread my mother's ashes and we layed out the blankets. We prepared the fire and set out the offerings. We gathered in a circle to smoke the pipe and offer prayers. We partook in a meal of my mother's favourite foods. Some of her sisters were with us and while we ate we remembered together her life and why we loved her. The eagles came that day as did the ravens, the coyotes and squirrels. The sun broke from behind the clouds as we ate the last bits of food. The clouds swirled to make the shape of a woman floating and dancing high in the sky. We all felt the sensation of freedom, satisfaction and joy. We laughed.... we cried.... we honoured my mother and we embrassed the memory of the times in our lives that we share becasue of her.

My culture teaches me that we can hold a loved one back by our grief. The feast allowed me to let my grief go... to let her go to continue her journey. To set her spirit free.

The next year before the dreaded April rolled around I was visited by my mother in a dream. She was dancing and singing and smiling at me. She told me she loved me and she replaced my grief with thanksgiving. I woke that morning to begin a new tradition. Never again to dread this special day. Never again to cycle into depression.

As mothers day rolls around I prepare to honour my mother with thanksgiving ceremonies. I am a mother myself now so while my son showers his love upon me in person he joins me to shower our love upon my mother, his grandmother. We take time to offer prayers. We take time to talk about her life and our connection to her. She gave us love. She gave us an appreciation for the gift of life. Her life was cut short but her love is everlasting. We give thanks for who she was and will always be in our lives and the lives of all those who are yet to come. We also take the time to visit one of my mother's sisters and to honour other mothers we know with a visit or a phone call.

I admit to still battling some quiet sorrows when I'm alone late at night. I too shutter a little when I hear the commercials or the special programming on the radio or on the TV. While I may have found a way to redirect my grief into thanksgiving I'd give it all up for just one more day of her in person.

I feel your pain my sisters. I share your sorrow. I want to encourage everyone to find their one way of turn your sorrow into appreciation. I've been blessed by the gift and I know you too will be blessed.

May you be strengthened by my story. May you pass through this time the victor. I pray for that to be so. I pray for your peace.

With love......