Nicole - If I can address you again

I've been reading everything on Patricia Evans Verbal Abuse website and everything she says describing the abuser and how it affects the abused is hitting it right on the head. It is my life right there, described perfectly. For years I thought MAYBE I was being abused, but mostly felt like he was right... "I was too sensitive" and I was to blame. But I see it now all really clearly and it's true ... I am actually being abused!! I'm panicking now...
It's leaving me feeling more frightened that I ever had been and I'm scared that I won't be able to hide my fear from him. And if he sees me as nervous or different, he might ask what is wrong. I have a terrible time lying - always have. I'm a terrible liar. But I most definitely don't want to be honest because that will set him off and he will dump all kinds of crazy-making on me. I just can't take any more for a while - I'm still recovering from last weekend's accusations, blame and crazy-making.

In your experience, do you have any tips or tricks on how to relax, and how to win the academy award for pretending to be a chipper and wonderful wife?