Me too. When I am very depressed it doesn't exist. But even when at my best I have always struggled with it.

I have always thought of it this way. In chemistry there is something known as energy of activation.



You start out low and then you have to add a bunch of energy to get the reaction going and then the energy is higher. I find that if I can get up enough energy to get over that big hump then it is smooth sailing. I am motivated and all into what I am doing. When I am depressed the line on the left is way way down there. Notice the line where it shows the catalyst. That would be like taking an anti depressant that is working for me. Just an analogy but I think it fits. Lighting a match to start the newspaper on fire to start a fire is a classic example. The fire just doesn't start by itself you have to add energy.