Yes, this is abuse.

Please read the following link: The National Domestic Violence Hotline | What is Gaslighting?

Has he always been like this? Have there always been signs of this kind of thing? I can relate to things you have written by the way. I got trapped in an abusive situation with my father and he wouldn;t let me have the central heating on even when I could see my own breath in the house.

I became very sad for your cat while reading this.Is there anyone you could give the cat to?

This man does not sound like a 'wonderful man'. He sounds like an unwell man who you shouldn't be living with. The part where you wrote that he puts his arms up and starts crying makes me think that he has some form of mental illness or trauma or something. Just because someone isn't violent to you doesn't mean it's not abuse. Violence is actually used far less than people think in abusive sitautions- other forms of controlling of the body (eg.telling you when or what you can eat or making it difficult to eat, making the person too hot/cold,) and controlling the mind,(making them think they;re crazy) are actually used far more.

Btw. Don't tell him you have posted on this forum.You my wish to tell him that other people think this is abuse, but that will put you in line for more crazy making behaviour.Also, please make sure you clear your history of this site everytime you post.

xxx