It is abuse.

I can relate to so much of your situation. I was trapped living with my father in isolation, so it's different in that sense, but like all abuse, it actually is remarkably similar. I too tried to come up with 'coping techniques' because I saw no viable means of escape. I was so isolated and was unemployed so I was financially trapped too.

The thing you said about if you said the sky was blue, your partner would say it wasn't- I have used that precise same example to describe my father.

I actually got away to a refuge, and STILL ended up back in the abusive situation afterwards, due to having no money and knowing nobody.

The first step of abuse is charm offensive-this is when the abusor is super charming.Obviously in my case, the charm offensive wasnt necessary since he was my father, and so I was already living with him. However, it s what happened to my mother. the sole purpose of the charm offensive is to get the victim on side. Then they isolate the victim. They make sure that their voice is the only voice you hear. They prefer you not to have money or a job. They control your body- through sex, or when/what you can eat, or violence etc. and they control your mind by telling you you can't think for yourself.They need you to need them.

How much would a cab cost to take you into town/to a refuge?

xx