Hey everyone. This is my story.
On 4th of July me and My husband were drinking he got really drunk I did not. We went to sleep around 1 am and I woke up groggy to him rubbing me down there and messing with me trying to have sex about 2 hours later. I pushed his hand away and told him to stop. And he rolled over and fell back asleep, I thought. As did I doze back off. Then he started to doing it again I said stop. And he kept at it so I thought well maybe if I pretend like I am sleeping he will just leave me alone. So I waited and waited and he didnt stop. He pulled my pants down and started fingering me, when he thought I was sleeping. I felt so betrayed and scared. SO at that point I "woke" up and just got it over with and had sex with him. Since then we talked about it and he feels like a piece of crap and said he would do it again. He has not, but everytime he touchs me or anything I get anxiety and nervous almost like PTSD. I feel like I would be ok with him if we were no longer together, but being around him gives my anxiety. I feel like i can't trust him I am the heavist sleeper and can sleep through anything and if he even bumps me in the night I wake up. In the past in our relationship he has talked openly about us sexually to people in general in front of me, about my body and stuff, nothing bad but has also made me feel unsafe and disrespected. I don't kow if its possible to get over this and be together and be close like he needs me to be with him.... like any guy does. We have two kids and Im just at a loss for what to do! Im so unhappy with how I feel on a daily bases!