[
This may sound strange, but I am GLAD you are afraid; You should be. When we are IN it, we don't see how dangerous it is. I suggest you call the hotline; they can help you (I don't think they tell y ou to leave, et); you can get some much needed advice and help from people who spend all day talking to women in your situation. Use ALL of the resources you can.
Remember that verbal abuse is literally brainwashing; that is why you feel so cononfused.
Forget being chipper, etc., just try to maintain "normal" whatever that is. Do NOT argue with him; just go along with what you can; let him be "right"--that is all they want...total control; in the meantime, plan, plot, get your duck s in a row; call the hotline; call a hospital social worker, etc.

I see we are neighbors; if you ever want to talk on the phone....Hugs and do the best you can. I totally understand.
quote=Ree1965;4097077]Nicole - If I can address you again

I've been reading everything on Patricia Evans Verbal Abuse website and everything she says describing the abuser and how it affects the abused is hitting it right on the head. It is my life right there, described perfectly. For years I thought MAYBE I was being abused, but mostly felt like he was right... "I was too sensitive" and I was to blame. But I see it now all really clearly and it's true ... I am actually being abused!! I'm panicking now...
It's leaving me feeling more frightened that I ever had been and I'm scared that I won't be able to hide my fear from him. And if he sees me as nervous or different, he might ask what is wrong. I have a terrible time lying - always have. I'm a terrible liar. But I most definitely don't want to be honest because that will set him off and he will dump all kinds of crazy-making on me. I just can't take any more for a while - I'm still recovering from last weekend's accusations, blame and crazy-making.

In your experience, do you have any tips or tricks on how to relax, and how to win the academy award for pretending to be a chipper and wonderful wife?[/quote]