Can you get him into counseling with you? I wish I had better advice for you, but I find myself in a sort of similar situation and have no idea how to resolve it. My boyfriend and I do not communicate well. He attacks my tone even when it is neutral and whatever my problem was gets lost in an argument about how I don't phrase things properly.

I have been reading books about boundaries lately and finding them interesting. Sometimes two people just want different things and no amount of talking is going to resolve that. You want to go out more. He doesn't. You both have valid reasons.