am a 21 year old female in college and have been dating my boyfriend for 1 and 1/2 years. Weve never fought, saw eye to eye, were best friends...loving him was so easy. We always took care of eachother. I went across the country got depressed from being away from him and wanted to come home and he bought me a plane ticket back to be with him. another time I went somewhere and was dropped off at a bus station and he came and picked me up at 1am cause he didnt want me to walk the 1/8 of a mile. He isjust a good guy.

He is also a college student, hes 23. He was deployed to Afghanistan in 2010. Sometimes he tells me he feels awful about killing people, or seeing his friends blow up. This week though he lost his mind. For the past 2 weeks he has been going to the VA for counseling (He has stomach issues and has to get a scope done but he needed a evaulation first). He tells me repeatively that talkinga bout it with this woman there really upsets him, I can sense it too he is REALLY upset by it. But like I always do Im there to listen to him and help in whatever way possible.

This week he was really depressed he kept saying "ive been thinking about hte meaning of life' And Tuesday he was quiet hardly talked to me didnt kiss me goodbye. Came over after dinner and broke up with me. He said he was having emotional issues and didnt want me to get hurt. He needed time to figure himself out on his own. He said it wasnt me it was him-he loved me but wasnt in love with me. (What the hell does that mean-after all he has ever done its obvous that boy is very much in love with me). And he left.

He came over the next night and I kept saying I didnt understand what was wrong. he said he wasnt good enough for me, I needed someone who was more effectionate. He would push me away when he didnt want to be kissed-that isnt an isssue, guys arent as afffectionate I expect that. I knew he loved me though. He hugged me and apologized and said he wish he could take it all back. I told him that I was gonna have trust issues now and that I didnt understand why he was leaving, why I couldnt be there to help him. He said he needed time. He said we should be friends for now and see where it goes. Im heartbroken.
I called him over last night and he kept pushing me away I said really mean things cause Im so inlove and heartbroken. I dont know what to do. Be nice to him and risk him throwing me away again if he gets a job out of state. I would follow that boy anywhere. He texted me that his meeting today 'went well'
I just dont know what to do. Our family lives are messed up we each had a parent walk out and remarry leaving the other parent to be very poor and just not a happy area. We understood eachother and now he pushed me out. I dont understand. He said he was having very bad war nightmare this weeks. I read that bad war nightmares lead to this. But I dont know what to do. He threw away his best friend-he doesnt have any really close friends.
I said horrible horrible things that I never say. I said F U. I never swear its so not lady like and I feel so awful about it. But Im just so hurt, and he just threw away his best friend. Do you think he is mad that I swore at him and said hurtful things? I want him back but he said he already hurt me and there still is a chance of getting back together. My friend says he just needs time and space but I dont know how long Im suppose to wait.
I appreciate your answer. Im so heartbroken and didnt understand what he meant last night until I found this website about PTSD from war trauma. He just threw me away without talking about it. And the other night he held me and apologized about what he did saying he wish he could take it back, and then last night when I tried to get him back he pushed me back and said he couldnt do the whole up and down thing.
He came over the other night and apologized up and down saying he wish he could take it all back. He hugged me and held me and held me. I didnthug him back I was kind of mean about it I dont understand how he could throw me away and expect everything to be ok. The next night he texted and asked if I needed anything in town I said no, and was mean still. Then later that night I had him come over and I tried to hug him and he pushed me away saying he needed time-that it might not be over yet but he is not ready for a relationship. Do you think he will come back? I dont even know if I should sit by him in class next week =(
Will he pull through and be his loving self again? I dont wanna lose him.
He keeps making conversation. Sometimes I dont hear from him in hours. He had breakfast with me and I honestly felt sick. He gets to my table and asks if he could sit there I said yea. I wasnt the absolute nicest, I told him about my day and nothing else-only the questions he asked me about. I didnt ask too much about him. He said he finished his book that hes been reading, that he hasnt really left his room. But he seemed distant. But he keeps contacting me. I seriously don't know. Its so awkward and painful for me. He keeps talking to my friends like I said he doesnt really have friends. I dont know how much I can put up with this. I just want us back the way we were.
Today I wrote him a letter apologizing for my actions and not fully understanding. I told him that I would be there for him and that I loved him and basically everything to have him understand why I acted the way I did and how I have come to better understand the situation. It was a lengthy letter. He texted me back and said that he wanted me to focus on friends and school. That this was hard for both of us. And that he didnt realize that he hurt me this bad. I didnt say in the letter that I wanted him back just that I was there for him.
I cant tell though if hes just trying to let me go slowly or if there is still a chance he will bounce back. I will continue to give him space and see I guess But Im hurting bad. He keeps texting me everyday and talked to me today about what hes been up too. But I just honestly dont know.

Can anyone help me please?