It might just be paranoia (though I don't really ever suffer from any paranoia), but I think they are judging me based off of my diagnoses. It was written in my file that I have BPD. About 3 months ago, I asked my primary doc to take it out of my file for fear of being judged. She agreed to. But I've known the staff at my Pdoc's office for over a year now and they've always had access to my file.

I am used to people assuming that I'm a liar, manipulative, or that I enjoy drama. It's a common stigma for BPD. But I'm not that way. I don't usually care if someone I barely know judges me that way, but when it starts affecting my treatment...I mind...a lot.

These people work in a mental health office. They should know how important it is for clients to see the Pdoc. And they already know I fear them... My blood pressure is only high when they take it.

My Pdoc did yell at them once before (in front of me). I had called to tell my Pdoc that I went to the emergency room for my depression, but they let me go home and told me to make an appt with my Pdoc. The staff ignored my msg!

It's really frustrating.