Hi,
Thanks a lot for answering my question. I apologize in advance for the length of my comments and for my mistakes, as English is my second language.
I agree with you that these feelings you are having right now probably will pass and that college will be better. It is not uncommon to experience adjustment issues, particularly related to social matters, during adolescence. However, I would not underestimate your feelings, in particular because you are aware of a lack of satisfaction regarding your relationship with your peers. This can be just a period, but if not, if it is something that is more stable in your personality, perhaps you could benefit from counseling.
Regarding your assessment of your behavior during 5th grade, allow me disagreeing with you. I think a 5th grader is too young to make a conscious decision about developing more social skills. In my opinion, there are kids that are naturally inclined to socialize while others are more introvert. In addition to natural tendencies, we need to consider the influence of early experiences at home and what we have learned from our parents and others. So, when you are too young, you are not totally in control of your behavior, I do not think that not acquiring more social skills in fifth grade was your fault. Perhaps it is important for you to size your social issues and understand their nature, so you can progress and live a life that is more satisfactory for you. I have more comments about "losers" and "winners" but maybe I do not understand the meaning. Why do you say you are a loser? How would you describe a loser?
OK, this is all for now. I look forward to hearing from you. A hug