(((Calming Ocean))) I have had those same thoughts, that my kids would be better off without me. I try to step back and just look at the thought/feeling, and then say to myself, "It's just a thought," or, "It's just a feeling. They come and go." I even put a note on my desk that said, "It comes and goes," to remind myself.

I often feel guilty because I lean on my kids too much, especially when I am having a combination of physical and emotional pain. I think I am a bad mom because I am leaning instead of propping. We want to prop our kids up, be their stable base that they can launch out from. That's normal, but no parent does that anywhere near perfectly.

I try to make sure every day I do some propping of my kids, even in a small way. (Mine are older and don't need much propping any more.) I do journaling and write down the good things I do to help combat the thoughts that say I am no good.

I make sure my kids have other adults who can prop them up when I can't. A teacher, a sports coach, a youth leader at church. I tell them that I have some health problems and it's hard on my kids and would they try to keep an eye out and be an encouragement, too? Your son is very young, but some day he will have those people, too.

I make sure my kids know that I love them and I'm happy to be their mom. Because that is the absolute truth. They are a huge blessing to me.

One more thing, your son doesn't need a well mom. He needs a mom who loves him, is happy to be his mom, who can meet some of his needs and find others who can meet the rest. You are that person!