Hi, I just wondered if you could possibly help me...

Since recently watching a film, I can't stop thinking about one specific night. I've thought about the possibility of it being rape or sexual abuse before but I guess I just tried to forget about it or try to remember it in a different way.

Basically, I went out with a few friends on New Years Eve a few years ago...

We met 2 guys who came back to the flat with us and we were chatting with them all night. I think they were expecting to sleep with someone that night and I did think about it also but decided against it. I got sleepy and decided to go to sleep in one of the rooms on my own. My other 2 friends shared a room and went to sleep a few moments later.

Not long after going to the room, one of the guys entered and asked if he could just sleep next to me, I agreed and we started to sleep until his other friend came into the room and started getting undress, and jump into the bed also. He then asked "why is nobody naked?" Assuming we were going to have sex.

Then things just started like I was just there for sex... They began to undress me and stuff but as I felt like I couldn't say no... I guess I led them on, and let them think it was going to be a one night stand! I felt like I had to participate because that's just what happens. I didn't struggle or scream or try to get away, it's like I just froze and let it happen like I had no control over anything.

My friends know about that night, but not in the way I think of it... They just think that I had a good night but I've never been able to tell them or anyone what really happened because I'm not to sure myself.

I know I didn't want to have sex with either of them, but is this just how one night stands go? Or is it regret? Or is it actually rape or something?

Sorry to bother you but I'm just a bit confused about it all and wanted some opinions.