I work fulltime and can't afford food, clothes, or outings either. Most times after paying my bills, I have $20 to $40 left till next payday (I get paid on the 15th and 31st, not every two weeks). Sometimes I'm lucky to see that. My lights are getting shut off if I can't come up with $200 within the next week or so.

My point is, even working doesn't guarantee a decent standard of living. It doesn't really do much for your sense of self-worth, either, if you're so undervalued by your employer that you can't live on what they pay you. Frankly, for the 7 months I was unemployed a couple years ago, I made more money on unemployment, and I felt only moderately guilty for taking it (my tax dollars at work, after all).

And yes, I still feel like a pathetic loser and a slimebag when I go to a food pantry, but in better days I contributed to those places and now it is my turn to humble myself completely and take something back. It sucks, yes.

I have friends who try to do what they can, but I get tired of mooching off them all the time.

I imagine it is twice as hard with a disability, and I sympathize with you, but just know a job isn't always what it's cracked up to be.

Candy

There used to be a real me, but I had it surgically removed. -- Peter Sellers