This is mental and emotional abuse as well as financial abuse. I too have been in two relationships like this. As a child i was treated like this my my family and apparantly we seek out what is familiar ti us. I dont know if that is the case for you but in my case it is.
I personally have chosen to be singls now. I dont know if i will stay that way for ever, im quite young to be alone forever, but being on my own the last few years has been a breath of fresh air for me. I've been healing my self and i feel stronger and peaceful.
I personaly would give the cat away to someone who can keep it safe. Its not normal to throw a cat on the wall.
Weather or not you should stay in the marriage is up to you but if you do then maybe marriage councelling could help. If this doesnt work you really need to think about your self and what is best for you.
My dad banned my mum from using the washing mashine when she had two babies. She wasnt aloud to buy nappies she had to use these cloths that she had to wash by hand after each use. Its power and control.
The father of my children wouldnt let me buy clothes when i was pregnant even though i was working. He had possession of my bank card and pin number. I was only given money to get to work and back. It took me ages to convince him that the baby would be harmed if i couldnt buy looser clothes so he bought me two pairs of leggins for two pound fifty. He had plenty of money for himself to spend on alcahol, cigerettes and porn. Again its about power and control.