you said "I would actually wake up and drink a 275 or 325 flask as my coffee" --- I hear ya!!!! My addiction would actually wake me up after about two hours of sleep in a sweat and anxiety, and I'd literally roll over and pour myself a glass (a small juice glass) :-O

"I would still have the alcohol evaporations coming through my nose, warm stomach, and think it's fun" -- yep. so similar to hear you relay your story. For me, I tried to cram as much as I could into an hour or two first thing in the morning before I started really letting it rip and pouring glasses... so that I didn't have to be in public and for people to smell the liquor literally coming out of my pores in my skin. I smelled like a distillery, or like I bathed in hard liquor. People who knew me were always too polite to tell me how badly I wreaked of booze.

Did the post you were gonna repost here about yourself not make it thru? I don't see it, but anxious to read it.

I used to always sign my correspondences with "chrz" - but have now taken to just saying "my best wishes" ;-)