Quote:
Originally Posted by kmptrgeek
Well...I guess today is the day I slip back down the mountain I've been on for the last 3+ weeks. This morning I'm on the edge of the woods, knowing there's a monster in there, and hoping I can stay out of the woods. Those of you who know...know what I'm talking about. Yesterday I was feeling so good, but by the afternoon I had began falling. I went to sleep at 6:30 and didn't wake up until 7:00am. My daughter was late for school and nothing is working this morning. I want to be at home. This is the part I really really don't like. I feel like it's not fair to go from feeling good, confident, productive, intelligent, good looking (ha) and enough energy to do whatever I want to do......to feeling like this. Not fair. This is what I've considered "normal" for over 30 years. I don't want to feel like this, now that I know what it is. I'm slipping into the pit and can't get a foothold. I'm too tired to even cry. I've closed my office door and I'm just praying nobody needs anything from me.
Although, I've learned I am a rapid cycler...so maybe this afternoon will be better. God please let it be better.
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I know this all to well... So well that your description was giving me the chills. I, to am a rapid cycler. I can be in a hypomania and within an hour be major depressive. (like I am now). I HATE that this is me. I also find it incredibly unfair, Like today for an instance, I told myself it was going to be a good day... Lunch with a friend, Went to the gym and felt like I was queen of the world, took a shower and was going to go back out, but dun, dun, dun that suddenly felt impossible and haven't left my room since. I can't live like this. However, there is hope for us. Thanks for sharing. Relating gave me comfort.
