I used to always sign my correspondences with "chrz" - but have now taken to just saying "my best wishes" ;-) hahahahahaha... still got me laughing.

I remember two things, one, I started off light also bc, I really couldnt tolerate the taste of alcohol so Captain Morgan with Dr Pepper, got the alcohol on my breath, kinda primed me for the rough stuff later on.

Also, there was a point where my stomach just wasn't a big enough capacity to hold all of the amount of liquor I needed to drink to get where I wanted to be. So, how do you fix that? Don't eat.

Oh man... Throwing up blood? I never met anyone else who experienced this. I too... Threw up a lot of blood... I remember seeing what looked like chunks of fatty flesh or stomach lining in the throw up as well... Praying to god telling him I'll never drink again... Drinker later on that evening is what wound up happening. It's a real disease. Those people who don't agree, aren't sick.

It's impossible to understand. If scientists can't come up with an explanation for it then there is no use of trying to make an explanation of it ourselves.

I know you don't want to eat but I am going to tell you like my sister told me. Eat healthy and excercise. You have put so much stuff in your body you are lucky to be alive, and you are lucky to get help and have a future.

You deserve to live life, you have not experienced living. Take care of yourself, eat well, excercise so you can prolong your life and enjoy... If it's not enjoyable now, well, you have to get through it, but this too shall pass and the sun always comes after the winter.

I don't know how old you are, I am kinda lucky to get caught in the vicious cycle when I was 14, I will be 29 in a couple of months.

Also, here is a sobering thought/ reality. I'm not a fan of AA. But I went. I had a sponsor. We had a lot of good times together and he was a really cool dude. Just a weird, harmless angry, crazy in a down to earth chill way. Dude was real cool. He was my sponsor and the first person I met the first day I decided to quit drinking. He encouraged me to volunteer with him to set up for this Christmas function/ concert.

I went there... He didn't. I didn't know but my sponsor decided to stay home and drink that night.

That was the last drink he had in is life.

You never know when it's gonna take you.

Best Wishes!