Hi everybody,
Well I feel mostly out of depression, but I think I'm just finally pushing things out of my mind more than not being depressed. I can still tell it is there. I feel like I'm much less of a person than other mothers my age. I had asked to meet someone who is a mother to a boy that spends time with my son a lot. I get very nervous and worry about dirt (grew up with a mom that is a perfectionist when company comes), so I still get worried things will never look good enough. I don't feel like I know myself very well, who I am, and I have no boundaries. I find I just open up and tell people things that are personal, and they may go away and wonder what kind of person I am.

In lots of ways though I don't care anymore how I am perceived or if I'm judged. I just want to be comfortable and my son to be happy as he can be. He struggles so much with learning and I feel like I've already got a reputation as being a bad mom. No one knows though what it is like to have been me. I'm tired and sore, and that seems to take precedence over everything else lately.