Give yourself a break. All the shame and dread is driving you further down. And, BTW, you are not a burden.
Reaching out is difficult. But you've recognized that you need help and have gone on to seek it. I suspect you are taking that smile the wrong way. Most likely she meant it in a good way. Your T is there to help you, that's her job.
One of the best things you can do right now is take your T's advice. If that means more therapy, so be it.

Also, I still struggle with feelings of embarrassment, so know you're not alone.