I went in today with an agenda , my 2 week worth of topics everything planned out, told her about my morbid thought, that went well, she acessed it, is monitering it, we will work on my anger..

Then we started talking where we left of about some csa last session, that got a little touchy. I told her I was there not to waste my time or her time, that I wanted to change, and was not comfortable where i am at. She said if she ever gave me that impression she was sorry.

I told her I was wiling to open up more and step it up a notch, at my pace. she told me that we are starting the next time I see her in two weeks, pre trauma sessions. She is monitoring my stressors at home. Which is fine. The pre trauma involves practicing and saying the c s a words omg , I have to write them down and bring them to session, and we are going to say them together.

In order to start trauma therapy we must be comfortable saying words, she says. When she said this I must have turned 7yrs old, I covered my eyes with my arms and squiggled in my seat. I know its something I must do. I just dont know how to . Even if I write these words, I just cant say them. Please help me.