Oh and why does the frustration the other person may have in their life and the desire to wanting to share the connection and empathy with the other person, to fantasize about hot steamy sex of something spontaneous coming out of that situation. hot to me?
It wouldn't be an immediate relationship of course, but a start of a friendship whether sex happens later or not.

I guess is it knowing someone on a deeper level with the use of sex, but not actually as the intimacy itself kinda like break the ice kinda thing.

I really don't understand myself. I mean I know a lot about it, but when I try to pinpoint mine and describe it to someone else who knows more about them self than I ever could. It's really awkward for me inside even though they don't see me awkward and they are confused what I mean.

Like I'm so weird with myself on this, I don't understand it. I'd want to know more and I'd rather not be around people who expect me to like something they like, because everyone else likes it because they tried it, but if it's something everyone else hasn't tried and is out of a social norm if I talk about it. People are like "you're weird that you're into that stuff, or to each his own.. o well that's what you're into" that kinda talk is annoying and rude.

I'm not judging you how you have sex, so you shouldn't judge me. I don't care, if you ask about my business I'll tell you someway or another or you'll find out if you keep pestering me about it.

I guess, I'm still left not knowing what am I attracted to the most with personality and looks for men and women. I really want to know what am I supposed to feel if I really think someone is sexy from how they talk with how they look, how they appear on the outside and appear on the inside of the person, and what should I know to feel compared to a normal day of ehh I think's she/he is super hot, but then like 5 minutes, mehhh whatever... or indifferent then someone else to come along and they can't get out of my head.

Can someone help me explain to myself so I don't run into a pattern with more awkward situations, at least a lot less of them just being aware what I really like, because I like so much I don't know what to look for. It's overwhelming.