I think you will love Schema Therapy. But what I really mean is - I think Schema therapy CAN be very effective for us Borderlines - but that doesn't necessarily mean it will be for you.

In my case - I cannot remember having much homework specific to Schema - but I did do a lot of CBT classes and group between individual therapy sessions. Perhaps my experience with Schema is confused with learning CBT skills at the same time. Either way - the collaborative nature of these two methods of therapy helped me tremendously.

I will say however; I do wish the therapy lasted for a longer duration. Just as I was getting to the core of my issues - I felt like I had addressed most of it - but certainly not all of it... This particular therapist worked wonders in my life - and unfortunately it was a 30 day, hospital, outpatient day program. It took about a week to, "feel," connected and supported in a nurtured, motherly way. As soon as that happened - it felt right. I just melted in front of her - I fell apart. I worked my butt off in those next three weeks with her - and even had a male psychiatrist that worked with us three days a week to fulfill a more rigid: fatherly role.

It was the combination of these parental roles - and the continued awareness of their function - that made my experience with Schema so effective. Primarily - the relationship with my female therapist was what rewarded me with the most growth, but without the other aspects to the therapy program I was in - I don't think I would have had the support necessary to foster that grow. I don't think I was introduced to a full-on Schema based treatment regimen like you are currently undergoing - considering mine was both intensive and relatively short-term. (Realistically it was about 20 hours of individual therapy)

Three years after I was done this program - I entered it again because my life was in turmoil. My therapist and psychiatrist were the first people I saw walking in the door - and I immediately felt that same parent-child connection that they once offered. At that point in time - I realized their ability as therapists and as genuine, caring, compassionate human beings. They did an amazing job and I was lucky. Ultimately, had my therapy continued with them for another month - I think I wouldn't have relapsed so badly three years later. I think I would have been able to shine light on the, "demons," [as you have alluded to] had I been there a little while longer. This makes me sad. But I know I was lucky to have worked with them at 23 years old.

In a way they saved my life, despite how challenging things still are. I have this inner need to impress them. I really consider them my adoptive parents - the parents I wish I had - and I feel inclined to impress them. I felt like a failure walking back in there and seeing them. Another layer to the story - is I was so motivated to become a therapist upon leaving the first time - that I even promised, "the next time I walk through that door - I will be asking for a job."

I think I'm going to try again.

Stick to the therapy - and give it a chance, that's all I gotta say. It really depends on many factors (as you already know from your previous therapy), but one day it may come as a surprise - that you have more control over object constancy. For me - feeling connected to my therapist in a child-parent way: allowed me to work through that yearning to feel connected when they were not around. It was a balance of everything a set of healthy parents should provide: nurture, understanding, love, genuine compassion, boundaries, obedience - and ultimately: a loving push into the world with a genuine concern for my future...

Question:

You said you feel, "confronted," by the therapy... In what way? What is it that is confronting for you?

What kinds of demons do you feel you have inside of you? Are they trauma's? Things that you know about yourself that you are not proud of? Things you have yet to deal with?

Thanks,
HD7970ghz