Thx, the major hurdle would be saying them in session relating them to me, she says we need to work on this before we even start trauma therapy. I just feel those words are disgusting when the topic is me.

When I hear them on the news , or on a tv show, yes they tend to annoy me, but I cope. My friends talk about intimacy , it's fine, I either brush it off or pretend to listen to the conversation .

The problem comes when, it's associated with c s a and me, to say yes I was ( blank blank ) or the person touched here or there, that feels like somebody squishing me. That's just thinking about it. To say that to t to actually verbalize it, I have never said it .

I have written some words down , 3 of them with old t before she left, but I either wrot them with missing letters, or hangman style, and backwards.

She was not accepting them like that.