I'm sorry you had such a horrible experience with your ex who suffered with BPD and that you feel it destroyed you But not all people who show signs of BPD or who are even diagnosed with it are the same. Plus, it's the T who has to "deal with it" not you.

IMO, DBT is more to help those clients who are struggling with extreme emotional dysregulation (which, btw, is a physiological issue and does not mean manipulation and drama for the sake of manipulation and drama). It's not only for BPD, although it started out that way. But not all people who have BPD traits deal with crisis behaviors like SI or whatnot. They already cope. Like those people who exhibit quiet borderline traits/feelings and it's usually processed more internally. Causes a lot of upheaval inside but the behaviors are mostly controlled. Those people may not need DBT. I guess what I am trying to say, but not doing so eloquently here /:, is that DBT is not a cure-all. I believe that its a CBT program meant to help a person get to a place where therapy can hopefully be more likely to work.

Anyway, this thread isn't even about that. It's about Paula who is feeling hurt and a bit confused about what happened with her T. I think we should get it back to that. If you want to discuss this further, please feel free to private message me.

Take care,
Freewilled