I am thinking about starting therapy again, but I'm afraid the therapist will recommend changes to my life that would hurt the well-being of others. I wouldn't make these changes, so the therapy would be a waste.

I'll try to describe my history briefly, because it is a sequence of disappointments and I think that is part of my problem. I'm 48 single male.

- I screwed-up my opportunity in college due to depression. I had bad dreams about these failures for the next 20 years. (1991)

- I was able to find a job writing software and gradually felt some sense of self worth. After 10 years I became depressed and started drinking too much. I had job opportunities, but all I felt like such a failure that I didn't want those jobs. Eventually I threw all my belongings in a dumpster and drove home to help my father and brother in the small family plumbing business. (I decided I couldn't kill myself, so this would be an alternative way to hurt myself.) (2000)

- I had a few opportunities to get jobs in software, but my family was depending on me. My father was diagnosed with cancer and my mother had to take care of him for several years until he died. My brother and I bought the business from my father, and I felt even more stuck. (2003)

- My father died and a hurricane devastated our business in 2008. I had a nervous breakdown six months later. I had been an atheist since college, but now I started seeing hallucinations of Jesus. I gave away all my savings, because I thought God wanted me to join a monastery. Those savings had been a comfort, because I thought I could have used them to relocate and find a new job if necessary. Now they are gone. (2009-2010)

- My mother was living alone until she was mugged and slightly beaten while doing her laundry. She intends to move into our plumbing businesses warehouse where I currently live. We would have separate apartments, but she would feel less lonely.

- My brother can't run the plumbing business by himself. Currently I do the bookkeeping. My brother is not good at managing people and neither am I. We have about 12 employees. We struggle to make a profit due to lack of control.

So I don't know what I can do to improve my own life without severely damage the situation for my mother and brother.

I want to find a way to be content in this situation that I can't change. I don't know if a therapist would understand this and be able to help me.