Hi X123.

Wow. That does sound like a rough history, but it also sounds like you've got quite a bit of resilience and tenacity to "keep on keeping on", and to be supporting yourself (and co-running a business, none the less).

I just wanted to chime in that not all therapists work for all people. I'd hate to see you waste another year with a therapist that isn't helpful, or is too pushy, or just doesn't click for you.

It can take a couple tries to find one that you feel like you can work with, that is able to "meet you where you're at" (I like that phrase, thanks Utterly!) and able to respond in ways that are helpful.

I feel compelled to point that out because I've spent years with the wrong therapists as well, and at the time, it felt like it was *my* fault - like I was doing something wrong, I wasn't trying hard enough, or I was just not capable of change/therapy. This was really demoralizing, and frankly, not right!

So, I'd like to wish you GOOD LUCK, and feel free to try out a couple different therapists! I hope you quickly find one that makes your gut go "YES!" and that you feel can be helpful and can work well with you.

Good luck!