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Originally Posted by Kildesortering
1. Not here. Private messages, maybe? It's kind of boring though, and I don't really know if that's where I learned it first.
2. I'm just worried I'd end up not having anyone to hurt. The people it seems you consider not innocent, are usually in prison. I follow the law because I don't want to end up there.
I don't really know if I want to stop, you know. I was pretty sure in the beginning, but I'm starting to think I should just go with it. See where it takes me.
I can't decide. I want to hurt people, I really do, but I also want to stop hurting people. Most people didn't do anything really bad, they just annoyed me. Not always even that. It's not fair, I guess. I just don't really know why I should care about that. I can easily see why I should pretend to care, but not why I should actually care.
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You could base how you treat other people upon how you would like to be treated. That is a pretty common formula for guiding behavior. That doesn't mean you give up being mean: it means you are consistent with boundaries. If you don't know how you would like to be treated, then spending some time with some really sadistic people might be good for you, as strange as it sounds. I could hurt you if that would help but I have to get to know you first. But you said you know how your hurting affects other people: you just can't resist doing it. I am telling you: having it happen to you again, and again, and again is a real eye-opener. Changing the habit takes practice. It doesn't happen overnight.
If you lack reasons to change, think of selfish reasons.