I think that you chose to be in that relationships regardless of his age. You are legal age (In canada anyways) to consent to sex, and have sexual relationships with people much older than you. So why would your parents step in? You were an adult ?
However sometimes older men go for younger woman because they are more vunerable (they use them, usually for sex) Some people generally think love is love regardless of age. If you felt scared of him, because he was aggressive towards you then yeah thats abusive. I guess it it depends if he had the intention of scaring you or not. Maybe you felt scared of him because he was bigger than you ? older than you ? Maybe he used you, or took advantage of you when you were drunk, but I don't think that would be considered rape. Not to the law anyways. I struggled with the same thing. I had sex with someone much older than I was. I felt pressured. I felt like it was wrong. I stated earlier before he started touching me that I wasn't down for fooling around or anything when he started getting closer to me. But after a few drinks, I became numb to it all, and didn't say much. I regretted it. He never raped me. He used me, and I felt angry. There's a difference between the two. and there's a very fine line, and you wouldn't want to falsely accuse someone of rape. trust me. I would speak to a professional about it.