Well, I don't really deal with depression all that much. My problem is textbook bp2... Lots of highs, inflated sense of self, I feel like I know the secrets of the universe, I feel like I can see on most women's face if they want me and most times I feel like they do, I flirt too much and that line of what's appropriate sexually is very blurred. I have that feeling of "I got this" when I'm doing something I know is wrong and I have a hard time feeling bad about it.

It's not good, but it feels so good to be that me. That version of me has a name. And I've been told it's very bad to have an identity with your hypomanic self but it was an identity placed on me, not something I created.

I'm only 36. I thought maybe I was going through a midlife crisis early until I was diagnosed. But looking back at my life, these elements weren't really there until a year and a half ago. I have journal entries back in my first full on episode that seem like the ramblings of a crazy man.i try to keep writing just so maybe I can see it if it comes back, but I know I wont.