I cried when reading this post. It was nice getting some understanding, I got this from you and some others in this thread and Iīm glad for that. I think a lot in this community is based on the need for some kind of comfort. Itīs ironic though, we should all get that comfort, explanation and so on from our T:s, we pay them. But obviously as in many cases seen here in the community, thatīs not always how itīs done.
No, the termination session was never a direct and automatic response, it was suggested after the T already had several chances to end therapy in a gentle and proffessional way.
As it was only her decision to terminate, I felt hugely let down and I felt that I suddenly was met by a different much more cold hearted person. Did you at all get an explanation around the termination you experienced or was you just shut off?
I plan to bring the matter up if I get to see another T, the "if" is unfortunately big at this moment, I donīt have any good solutions just now.
Yes, I also think itīs always the T:s responsibility to ensure that the client gets the treatment she/he needs to come to a satisfying closure. I sent my T a letter telling her how I now feel but havenīt got an answer and I donīt think I will get one either.
I think itīs scandalous if it is as you say, that the T:s own issues influences their actions in situations where they are to to help people. I just know I feel very bad right now, only finding myself crying or feeling frustrated and despondent.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Freewilled
Paula,
I'm sorry that you had to go through that with your T. I know what you mean about your hesitance to go to a termination session that you didn't want in the first place. It could've helped you to get some closure, but sounds like you didn't trust that your T would be honest with you about it all. So it would've been more going through the motions for her to say she offered.
I have been terminated out of the blue and it was a very shocking and painful experience for me. I spent years carrying it around without realizing it until I was able to process it with my current T, almost 10 years later. Please don't wait that long to find someone else.
And for whether or not you have "borderline traits" or blah blah blah that impacted your Ts decision is moot. The T is the professional and we go to them for help with our problems, whatever they may be. I would find a comment like that about me and my situation with my ex-T incredibly hurtful and victim-blaming. So please know that it really is the Ts responsibility to try to work things out with a client and if they feel their services are harmful, to terminate in a caring manner with referrals in hand. Anything else is wrong, IMO.
I'm sure a lot of this stuff was the Ts own crap. It happens very often. But I know that doesn't make it much less painful. I'm glad you reached out here because going through it alone is so much worse  |