A T explained it to my mam in the way that some people will shout etc when they're upset or angry to deal with it, but some people will hurt themselves instead to get that release and get it out.

I personally think it's that I turned all my upset and anger on myself, so instead of telling someone I was mad at them for whatever, I'd blame myself instead and hurt myself cos I "deserved it" instead of them.

I now have the opposite problem, I no longer self harm but I haven't learned how to cope without it, so I just take it out on everyone else now instead. An ot I saw briefly said that's better than hurting myself, but I don't really agree with that, I'd still rather hurt myself than people I care about. I guess that's just something I need to work on.