I am deeply sorry for your loss and the anniversary of that must hold many emotions for you.

The thing that relieves my grief and sadness is helping people. It could be as simple as you want, but having something to focus on besides my own situation can reduce the impact. Maybe it would be better to do those things when you feel ready or maybe go out of your comfort zone before or after December 9th.
I left out the words in the quote above that trigger me. I read it and I feel less anxiety. That is why I try not to use the words that set me off. Sometimes I am my own worst enemy. By talking about the parting of your husband rather than describing the tragic way in which he left, it might be easier to begin in some small way to let go.
I don't know if this is an appropriate time to pursue a line of inquiry to what comes after death. If so there is a book by an MD that reports the experiences of many patients who die medically and then are revived. It is by a medical professional so it is not sensationalized. It is called LIFE AFTER LIFE by Dr Raymond Moody. For me it helped me come to peace with the loss of family members and the sense of separation diminished.
Please feel free to stay in touch with PC. People are here to listen and sympathize.