Absolutely, yes I have experienced this feeling. It's a dark place. I used to live in it constantly and it was a sad place to be. Over the last couple of years I have been working like I've never worked in my life, to get to where I'm at now. It's different, but the darkness will always be there, I presume. In fact, it's kind of coming back to me and I'm scared. I'll do everything to not let it pull me under. I did however, write this little piece a few weeks ago. Oct 20th, to be precise:

The blackness has loomed its presence ever so carefully making certain you weren’t aware of its arrival until it had soaked itself in your soul. The shadow engulfed your being without any chance of escape, as there was no warning. A blackness where each day it steals a piece of your soul, where the only chance of retrieval is the battle ground where you fight the battle of your life *for* your life. It’s a blackness where your darkest dreams become the reality you live in. You see the rays of light cascading down as if a savior has come to bare some of the weight of your lifeless core, but you quickly find that it’s all a delusion. The light is untouchable, blocked by a limitless boundary of fear and sadness. The only escape is to bleed out.

I'm deeply sorry that your heart has been hurt. I'm sure many of us know the feeling. I know I certainly do. Gosh, it's almost the worst hurt, isn't it? Being numb sucks, being depressed sucks. Being on medications sucks. You know, this isn't for everyone, but you can always try a holistic approach if the meds are making you completely numb. I took meds for years. They did what they needed to do to get me started on living the life I wanted to live. The only thing I wanted to be was happy. I know life isn't simple. It's complex as hell. But, it can be simple if we let it be. For the past year and a half, I've been trying to "live" without meds. It's hard sometimes. Really hard, in fact. But as cheesy as this is, the movie, "A Beautiful Mind" with Russell Crowe was a HUGE inspiration to me. If he can do it, then I can do it...not that I have the same disease or disorders, but it all stems from the brain. So far, so good. Basically, what I'm trying to say is that if the path you want to be on is a med free path, then you just may be able to accomplish that. It takes time. It takes work. It takes dedication. It takes a fight. But it's sooooo worth it on the good days, and there are SOOOO many more good days than there are bad anymore.

Keep your chin up. The broken heart will pass, I promise.