Thanks, everybody. I liked what Guilloche wrote about blaming yourself when you should simply try a new therapist.

What Idititmyway said about pushing me into big changes reminded me of something. After the year spent unproductively in therapy, I tried a new therapist. I liked the new therapist, and she seemed to understand how embarrassed and disappointed I feel about my life. It felt great to have somebody understand finally. Unfortunately she laid-out her plan to get my life back on track that would have probably meant abandoning my mother and brother. I started having terrible anxiety for two days until I finally called and cancelled the next appointment. So this is a big problem.

BTW, my main goal for therapy is to get along with my brother better. I am very disrespectful and mean to him for no reason. I don't understand this. My behavior is embarrassing and unprofessional, but I can't seem to control myself. I suspect that unconsciously I cannot allow myself to be happy or content in a situation that is humiliating, so I feel anger?