I wish I could help. I've felt tormented by my thoughts so much in my life. I don't know if it seems silly to you or would help, but I did find someone on youtube who has books out as well. He just is soothing. You may not like it but doesn't hurt to try listening to him. Eckhart Tolle. I hope you will feel a little better soon.
I hope you can join a support group or get therapy or counseling if you aren't already.