I know how you feel those words literally seem so awful and you just can't say them no matter how hard you try. Sometimes all you can do is just keep on trying even though it's scary...I think someone on here once said that reliving trauma won't ever be as bad as it was to experience it. That concept has helped me a lot in opening up. And sometimes it works if I just spit out the words really fast, like ripping off a bandaid.