I could really use some advice from a BPD perspective on this situation.

First off, BPD is basically ruining all of my friendships and relationships. It's always the same reason. I have a lot of deep running feelings of being alone and unwanted and unfulfilled because of neglect and abuse that happened to me as a child. I act on those feelings by flailing about helplessly in public displays of being in pain. I post on facebook, I barrage people with texts. The worst is when I feel rejected. I respond to feeling rejected or wronged by barraging that person with texts about how upset they've made me. I'm really sensitive to being told that my feelings aren't ok because my family emotionally abused me that way growing up. So anyone telling me not to talk about being sad so much or to calm down just makes me escalate so much more.

So there's this guy that I had an "almost relationship" with. As it always is with me, things are going well and it seems like we're going to become a relationship, then poof the guy backs off and says let's be friends. They start to smell the crazy... But something different is happening this time. He seems to want to try and help me stop my bad behavior. Usually people telling me to stop has the opposite effect but I'm kind of seeing his point this time. But it's hard for me to know the right answer.

Is the key to better relationships to stop talking so much about how sad I am, or to stop looking at my life as being as sad as my mind tells me it is? Is he right when he tells me to "just stop"? I also have problems with giving up before I start, fatalistic thinking etc... So it feels like the world is rejecting me, that no one is there for me, but maybe I don't reach out to people and I give up on people before I start because I perceive rejection.

But there's also the strong possibility that this guy is emotionally unavailable, that he doesn't want anything to do with emotions, and he's trying to make me into what suits him.

I wish I had the answers... ~_~