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Is the key to better relationships to stop talking so much about how sad I am, or to stop looking at my life as being as sad as my mind tells me it is? Is he right when he tells me to "just stop"? I also have problems with giving up before I start, fatalistic thinking etc... So it feels like the world is rejecting me, that no one is there for me, but maybe I don't reach out to people and I give up on people before I start because I perceive rejection.
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The thing is, imo, to have other fulfilling and meaningful things going on before trying to engage a new person about a potential relationship. Secondarily when new relationship is a matter of deep concern try to avoid desperation and engage those other parts of your life that have potential to be meaningful and fufilling.
Smelled the crazy? Maybe. More likely sensed to much interest to quick and it sounded like an alarm.
We want others to be enthused but most people tend to want intensity and interest within a relationship to have some gradualness. Sudden intense interest or seeming desperation tends to make people feel like things are becoming unsafe or wild.
My interpretation could be way off. I think it has the potential to be related to yopur concerns though. Best of luck.
Edit: OP was looking for a BPD perspective. I regard myself as having many BPD traits even though have not gotten any axis II diagnoses, cause often when you have axis I diagnosis, they don't look for more diagnoses. I have many BPD friends and regard myself as BPD or having many BPD traits. Hope it was OK I answered.